What’s New in Psychology?
Which Comes First? Being Aversive or Being Disliked?
Jim Windell
When I was in elementary school, I wanted other kids to like me. I tried to be kind and friendly to everyone. That wasn’t true of all my classmates, though. For instance, there was Roy, a pugnacious boy who pushed his way to the front of the lunch line, bullied kids on the playground, and had a habit of jabbing others with a sharp pencil. In fact, I still have a sliver of graphite in my forearm, thanks to Roy.
That’s the way Roy started out the school year when we were both in first grade. Things didn’t get any better as the year went along. Most of us still disliked Roy by the end of year.
Kids like Roy were examined in a research project out of Florida Atlantic University. The research looked at which came first – aversive, off-putting behaviors (like poking others with a pencil) or being disliked.
The study involved more than 300 Florida students ages 9 to 14 years old attending diverse public primary and middle schools. Students completed surveys at the beginning, middle and end of the school year. At each time point, students identified classmates they disliked. Enemies (also known as mutual antipathies) were defined as dyads in which both partners disliked one another. Students also nominated classmates who did well in school and who were prosocial, as well as those who were aggressive and those who were disruptive. Self-reports described emotional instability and emotional problems.
“Enemies or mutual antipathies occur when two people dislike each other,” says Brett Laursen, Ph.D., senior author and a professor of psychology at Florida Atlantic University’s Charles. E. Schmidt College of Science. “Ill will needs to be reciprocated. Both parties need to share the same feeling. Mutual antipathies are not very common; less than 5% of students in our study had enemies.”
Results of the study, published in the Journal of Youth and Adolescence, found that adolescents with aversive traits at the beginning of the school year were more likely to develop enemy relationships over the course of the school year compared to those without these traits. Emotional reactivity was the strongest risk factor for participation in a mutual antipathy. Emotionally unstable youth were 35% more likely to form enemy relationships than those with low levels of emotional instability. Doing poorly in school, being aggressive and classroom disruptiveness were also strong predictors of later participation in an enemy relationship. Students perceived as not helpful or caring also tended to form mutual antipathies.
Importantly, the risk of developing an enemy relationship remained consistent throughout the school year, and it did not differ on the basis of gender (males versus females) or school grade level (primary versus middle school students), indicating that these behavioral risks are broadly applicable across different groups of adolescents.
According to Laursen, “Students who exhibit off-putting behaviors tend to become involved in relationships characterized by mutual disliking. Youth who behave in unattractive ways are disliked and that sentiment is often returned. All manners of annoying behaviors can antagonize others. Emotional instability is a particularly challenging trait. Emotionally reactive youth react quickly and intensely to situations, which can easily lead to peer conflicts and escalate negative emotions.”
Poor school performance and acting out in class are also antagonizing.
“School is frustrating for youth who are not academically successful,” says Laursen. “They may come to resent those who are accomplished and appreciated by teachers. This resentment is often returned.”
Similarly, class disruptions can be irksome to classmates because disruptions sidetrack the class, interfering with the academic attainment of other peers.
“Our findings are important because mutual antipathies have real consequences,” Laursen adds. “Troubled youth who make enemies often find themselves trapped in a cycle of social and emotional difficulties. Mutual antipathies can harm group cohesion, making the classroom a less supportive learning environment. More importantly, negative interactions are stressful. For some youth, these conflicts may lead to serious distress, possibly even school avoidance. Taking proactive steps to prevent these conflicts is crucial.”
To read the original journal article, find it with this reference:
Leggett-James, M. P., Yoho, M., & Laursen, B. (2025). The wrong stuff: Characteristics of youth involved in mutual antipathy peer relationships. Journal of Youth and Adolescence, 1-14.
